You Don’t Owe Anything to an Abusive Parent
A step-by-step process to find peace in letting go
It’s been months since I ended the relationship with my mother. We had an on and off relationship for years and for a moment we had found a simple way to stay in touch.
Most of our conversations were not meaningful. I was constantly left feeling disappointed and wanting more. It was unclear to me as to what would become of our relationship but at the time I didn’t want to live in regret if I did decide to sever all communication.
What I didn’t realize was how abusive and emotionally manipulative my mother had become. Through the years I looked for ways to accommodate her every emotional need as she hid behind the “mental illness” label to reprieve her of her negligent actions.
Abusive parents don’t make strong efforts to change.
Over time they expect their children to only stay in the toxic cycles of abuse with them even as they get older. They expect us to stay by their side until death as they continue to make us feel wrong and less than worthy.
My father was sexually abusive to me and so over time I think I held onto my mom as one last shred of hope that I’d have at least one parent there for me.