When It’s Time to Heal, Whatever You Do Please Don’t Do it Alone

Emily Stroia
3 min readNov 11, 2019

More than solitude we need the support of each other to move forward

Photo by Katy Anne on Unsplash

This is the thing about healing. It’s personal. It’s intimate. It’s fucking messy. It’s not our prettiest most glorious self.

Some people might be quick to dismiss you because “you got issues” to say the least (which by the way is fucking selfish to say).

But the reality is — we all got issues. And if you claim you don’t then you are living a lie. It doesn’t matter if you have issues. What does matter is how you deal with your issues.

In the healing process it’s almost normalized for us to retreat, to ghost each other, to come out of a funk and then reach out for coffee. We hide. We don’t talk about what’s going on.

We are expected to do deal with our pain silently — and that’s the problem.

Healing has many faces and forms. There is no perfect way to heal. And we won’t look perfect in our healing process. The worst thing we can do is hide what our healing looks like.

Yes — your healing process is intimate, scary and vulnerable. It takes time. It is exhausting but it can also be life-changing.

I think that in order for us to truly heal we need some key tools in place.


The last thing you might want is to let someone in as you heal. It is vulnerable. It is emotional. You may not even be able to describe what the hell it is you feel.

But you also know that being alone with your thoughts for too long is driving you crazy.

This is when you must reach out. You must go and find support. A group. A class. A spiritual mentor. A therapist. A family member. A good friend.

It is in community you are welcomed exactly for who you are regardless of how you are feeling or what you are going through.

Get vulnerable

Alright, I know. I suck at vulnerability but the more I practice it the better I get, honestly.

When you are healing the last thing you want to do is fucking get…



Emily Stroia

Psych therapist in training. I write about mental health, trauma, well-being, and spirituality. Stay for a while. www.emilystroia.com