Member-only story
What It’s Like Living with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
The Aftermath of PTSD & How I cope.
I just finished listening to a recorded audio of my most recent therapy session. This audio is a story of a traumatic memory with my father when I was nineteen years old.
I put my headphones in and sit with my eyes closed as I listen to the audio of myself sharing this story with my therapist.
In the audio I hear myself sob in sadness as I re-imagine the experience.
I hear my voice crack in fear as we get to parts of it where I felt terror.
I can feel my body start to slouch and tighten.
My heart races just hearing it again.
It feels like I am there again and it’s so scary.
Why am I doing this? Did it really happen that way?
These are questions I have asked myself numerous time.
It is painful but I am committed to healing from these stories and these memories.
I want freedom from the way PTSD affects my life.
So for the next ten weeks I will be replaying audios of my therapy sessions every day. In my sessions I will repeat a story of a traumatic memory for forty minutes.
