The Toxic Psychology of Parents Who Abuse their Children

lessons on breaking the cycle.

Photo by Daniel Cheung on Unsplash

Child abuse victims want so badly to have normal parents and a normal family.

It is emotionally confusing to love a parent who is abusive.

The psychology of an abusive parent.

Parents who did not have their needs met as children may find it hard to meet the needs of their own children.

Environmental circumstances such as job loss, marital problems, or physical health concerns may contribute to mental health issues like depression or anxiety thus increasing family conflict or abuse in the home.

According to one German psychiatrist Alice Miller abusers have an “unconscious compulsion to repeat.”

“An intellectual understanding — that hitting or belittling a child is wrong, for example — may not be enough to prevent abuse, simply because the drive to repeat occurs on an unconscious level”, Miller says.

It was never your fault.

We will make excuses for our parent such as “Oh, she was a single mom so that’s why she acted like that”.

Abusive parents can make us feel at fault for their actions.

Breaking the cycle starts with you.

I realized I was continuing the cycle of abuse that I witnessed with my parents.

It was heart-breaking.

I made a commitment to get vulnerable about my struggles.

Getting help to start to break the cycle of abuse can feel like you are climbing a mountain with many unexpected rock slides.

Healing isn’t linear.

Image by Maria Andrews.

Self-help & mental health writer. Can't do small talk. Mama. Yogi. Coffee lover. Nature explorer. Get my free meditation mini-course here:

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