The Problem with Being Bisexual and a Mom.

the gap between motherhood and sexuality

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

I feel uncomfortable talking about my bisexuality with anyone.

Being a mother has slotted me into a protector, a nurturer, a caretaker.

Bisexuality is the invisible sexuality.

When I was 17 I started get curious about dating women.

“Maybe you just haven’t met the right woman…”

“Are you sure you are bisexual?”

“That’s such a turn-on that you are bi.”

Bisexuality is the invisible sexuality.

We aren’t validated.

We are encouraged to pick one.

The gap between motherhood and sexuality.

I am now a mother and many of my conversations are focused on motherhood.

There is a silent assumption that we are straight women in straight relationships living a heterosexual life.

We don’t talk about what we enjoyed before we had kids.

To fit in or not to fit in?

I feel the pressure of having to conform to a heteronormative stereotype to “fit in”.

I feel like I have to keep my bisexuality a secret from the new mama friends I make.

I don’t want to see eyebrows raised if I say my partner and I didn’t have sex for eight months.

I want to ask, “How is your sex life going now?”

I want to ask if they have dated both men and women.

It is assumed that I am a heterosexual woman because I am in a relationship with a man or because I am a mom.

Dr. Joye Swan sums it up perfectly:

Letting go of the shame around sex and sexuality.

Moms get to let their hair down too.
We need more than a “Mom’s night out” once a month.

The more we stay silent about our secrets the more we suffer.

Our sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of.

Self-help & mental health writer. Can't do small talk. Mama. Yogi. Coffee lover. Nature explorer. Get my free meditation mini-course here: www.emilystroia.com

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