Stop, New Moms Don’t Need More Advice

on how to show us the right kind of support

Image for post
Image for post
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Oh, wow. He’s a good baby.

As a mother I’ve noticed people tend to grade a child based on how well they sleep at night, level of independence and emotional.

I have gotten more advice than necessary.

People have a natural desire to say anything they can think of to you about parenting, babies and motherhood.

They give unsolicited advice.

Is your baby sleeping through the night?

Please stop asking us this, really.

Public service announcement: statistics show 50–70 millions US adults have a sleep disorder.

It really doesn’t make much of a difference if our baby is sleeping through the night or not besides that we get to sleep more.

Asking us this question only deflates our confidence and makes us feel as if we have failed at motherhood already.

Breast if best.

Ah, the good old breastfeeding question.

Many of us new mothers may not get breastfeeding down right away or ever for a variety of reasons.

Asking us this question can immediately make us feel incompetent, embarrassed or ashamed.

However the truth is not all mothers will breastfeed, can breastfeed or want to.

A better question may be:

Baby weight.

Please refrain from discussing baby weight with us.

We go through a lot to carry, labor and birth a human.

Many times we don’t want to discuss baby weight because it is a personal subject.

Does your baby cry a lot?

What does it matter if our baby cries a lot or not?

It is an irrelevant question and one that many mothers don’t want to answer or explain.

Babies are adjusting to their new world outside of a cozy warm home.

Have you tried this…?

If a new mother isn’t discussing the details of her motherhood with you please don’t offering her solutions.

Mothers find their own voice in the journey and don’t need more unsolicited tools to add to the list.

Unless we are specifically asking you for advice, please don’t give it.

Written by

Self-help & mental health writer. Can't do small talk. Mama. Yogi. Coffee lover. Nature explorer. Get my free meditation mini-course here: www.emilystroia.com

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store