how your imperfect truth is enough
Writers have a tendency to be all-in or nothing.
We wait for that perfect wave of inspiration to hit us before we start writing.
And we will ride it until we literally hit the good old writer’s block or just burn out from the mental exhaustion.
Reconnecting with my writing has been an exciting endeavor and also an exhausting one.
From reading the how-to guides, books and articles on finding your writing voice I find myself drowning in everyone else’s voice but my own.
There is so much information out there from:
- Read, read, read
- If you want to be a good writer, write every day
- What’s better: Quality or quantity?
- Make friends with other writers
- Share your work and get feedback
It’s no wonder we feel burnt out.
Being a writer is a serious commitment with very little pay (at least at first).
The reward is in the creating.
The reward is in the feedback you get from your readers.
The reward is seeing your finished piece polished and refined like an aged wine.
However sometimes in the process it can feel like you’ve reached a dead-end.
Sometimes it can feel like we are just on the hamster wheel going in circles with what to write next.
I feel like I am constantly searching for material, recording my experiences, taking mental notes and reading other people’s work.
How can I find my writer’s voice if I am spending this much time in the field?
And does it even matter to know it?
Lately I have felt this pressure to really know my writer’s voice.
I am in the beginning stages of dating my writer self.
I am getting to know what inspires her, what she daydreams about, witnessing her conversations and thought patterns.
I am learning how to tune out the voices of comparison, fear and doubt.
And sometimes it’s not enough.
Sometimes I want to break-up with my writer self.
She moves much slower than I do.
She is more contemplative and ethereal.
She doesn’t just want to be a voice in the world but a strong voice.
And honestly that intimidates the fuck out of me.
I want my writer’s voice to be soft and fit perfectly into a square.
I want to copy and follow the formula to writer’s success based on someone else’s journey because it seems safer than the unknown.
But my writer self knows she wants to walk the line.
She wants to take risks and fail.
Bombing is important as a writer.
We see it with comedians when they grab the mic and test out new material with the audience.
Sometimes the crowd goes wild for it and other times crickets.
We need to fail and fall flat on our writer face.
We need to test out new material.
We need to give up searching for our writer voice and just spend time getting to know ourselves.
The pressure to be authentic in an inauthentic world can feel overwhelming.
I am tired of trying to figure it all out.
I just want to figure me out and start from there.
I am convinced that starting and being in an intimate relationship with yourself is the first step to knowing your real truth.
Once you begin to listen, observe and become aware of yourself you can begin to truly hear your writer voice and what needs to be said.
Pay attention, write down the little things, listen to what you talk about, read about, dream about.
Before you find yourself on the bed of burn out, slow down and simply get to know you — the real you.
Your writer’s voice is like a muse.
It needs to be teased, enchanted and led into the light.
The world is your stage and your imperfect truth is enough.