8 Unexpected Lessons I Learned in The First Year of Motherhood

The day you have your firstborn is also the day you will give birth to a new you.

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

We had been dating only a year and to be honest — our connection needed some nurturing before we decided on kids.

But it happened. I got pregnant and while it was a surprise I wasn’t that surprised.

I couldn’t live with the idea of getting an abortion no matter how many times my mind raced to that option.

Yes, I could get an abortion and go back to my life but I would never be the same. I knew I’d live with deep regret and grief.

Before I even knew it I was already stepping into the shoes of motherhood.

My partner and I had some long discussions and even went to my therapist for guidance on making a wise and educated choice about becoming parents.

You define the rules.

There is so MUCH information out there on what you should do & shouldn’t do for your baby.

Breast isn’t best.

Breastfeeding is highly encouraged even before your baby is born. But the truth is a lot of moms get frustrated or struggle with breastfeeding.
Some even choose to not breastfeed.

Self-care is defining what the new you needs now.

Massages and baths and getting your hair/nails done is great — but that is one small act of self-care.

More than anything we need time, rest and nourishment.

Ask a friend for help around the house or to keep an eye on your little one while you go to the bathroom.

You will go through a huge identity shift.

The biggest lesson for me this year in motherhood is the identity shift I experienced.

A new self emerges that you are slowly getting to know.

Be patient and easy with yourself. It is a delicate process.

You may not have a desire for sex.

So many of us mamas feel this — a lack of sexual drive.

You may have a career shift.

Some mamas I talk to have experienced a huge shift in direction with work after having their babies.

You may miss your old life.

Once in a while you might miss your old life pre-baby.

Connect to community.

Motherhood instantly gives you access to a community of other mamas and their little ones. There are so many groups, classes and events available to support mothers.

Self-help & mental health writer. Can't do small talk. Mama. Yogi. Coffee lover. Nature explorer. Get my free meditation mini-course here: www.emilystroia.com

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